My Children Hate Me

I am not entirely sure, but I think they are conspiring to shove me off the edge of my sanity. They tag team me to deprive me of much needed sleep. They say they are hungry and want to eat bananas but turn their collective noses up at the banana I put in front of them. She because it is much more fun to smash it and put it in her hair and he because it broke. Sigh. The girl will not allow me out of her sight and when I do sneak away (usually to go to the bathroom) I come back to find her comfortably parked in front of my computer, pecking away and drooling on the keyboard. The boy's catchphrase that he repeats over and over again is "I want to go to Grandma's. Is it time to go to Grandma's? When can I go to Grandma's?" and his newest form of torture is to get up at 5am and then wake us up by emptying bins full of toys on the floor. My nervous tic is becoming more and more pronounced with each passing day. The girl prefers to cause a Myocardial Infarction by quietly climbing on top of something unstable and standing up, giggling and clapping to get our attention. This is the same child who can fall off her own two feet standing on the flat floor. Thank God she seems to have sticky tree-frog feet when standing on the high chair. All these things, coupled with the soundtrack of kid show songs stuck on a continuous loop that is burned into my brain causes me to teeter on the brink every day. It's a conspiracy, I know it. You'll probably think I am crazy but I am fairly certain it was the cat that recruited them into this vile scheme. He hates me too.

It is Official!

Welcome to the inaugural posting on my blog. I finally bit the bullet and did it! Here is your first and final warning: Material on this blog may be considered offensive, trite, irritating, personal, exceptionable, objectionable, appalling, distasteful, loathsome and downright uncivilized. Hope you enjoy your stay!